Why don't you just eat it Part 1

If you knew me, you’d know right away. I love to eat. And I know the best places to eat good food. Women my age spend their earnings on clothes. Me, I probably spend more on eating out.

Below is the first of a series of rundowns of my recommended top spots for a fiesta of the palate.

LEGEND:
$ - P0-150
$$ - P151-300
$$$ - P301-500
$$$$ - P501 ++

Countryside Restaurant and Grill
Katipunan Extension, Quezon City

CUISINE TYPE : Filipino, Grilled
RESTAURANT HOURS : 6pm-3am, everyday
PRICE RANGE : $
CROWD : Yuppies, college students, your friendly neighborhood tambays
PARKING : Street parking. A bit hazardous as the road is accessible to all
types of vehicles from motorcycles to 10-wheeler trucks
PAYMENT MODES : Cash
TRY THE FOLLOWING: Isaw, isol, tenga, barbecue (grilled specialties)
Calderetang Kambing (goat meat stew in tomato sauce,
potatoes, carrots, and olives)
Papaitan (beef fat, beef meat, intestines in sour soup)

Ikaw ang mismong mamimili ng ipapahihaw mo kay Kuya Sonny (you won’t miss him, kamukha siya ni Dolphy at siya lang ang tanging nagiihaw dun). The rice is good for 2-3 persons. They’ll serve you with service water and ice as soon as you have ordered your food. Beer is really cheap, and you can smoke whether you’re inside or by the porch. Not all the staff are friendly, though. Pero ok lang dahil masarap ang pagkain. The place is as down to earth as it can be, with a mix of the Miriam and Ateneo crowd at yung mga mababait na manong na makikita mo sa kanto ng village niyo. Walang pakialamanan dito, and you’ll find yourself sitting there for hours eating and just having a good time.

Sushi-ya
Located in almost all major shopping malls

CUISINE TYPE : Japanese
RESTAURANT HOURS : Mall hours
PRICE RANGE : $$
CROWD : Families, yuppies, young couples
PARKING : Mall parking
PAYMENT MODES : Cash, Card
TRY THE FOLLOWING: Crazy Beef Roll (Fried beef, salmon and cheese roll)
Teishoku set (any main course including rice and soup)
Salmon Teppanyaki (grilled salmon without the fishy taste)

This restaurant offers the best in affordable Japanese food. It’s better tasting, fast, and it’s real value for your money kumpara dun sa ibang Japanese restaurants na natikman ko. Plus, if you love Japanese mayonnaise, just ask from their friendly wait staff and they’ll give it to you for free. Mababait ang mga waiter dito, hindi tulad sa ibang kainan of the same concept na parang masama ang loob tuwing kakausapin ka, para bang uutangin mo ang oorderin mo.

TGI Friday’s
The Brickroad and the newly opened one in Robinsons Galleria

CUISINE TYPE : American
RESTAURANT HOURS : 10am-12am, everyday
PRICE RANGE : $$ - $$$
CROWD : Yuppies, families, dating couples
PARKING : Mall parking
PAYMENT MODES : Cash, Card
TRY THE FOLLOWING: Chicken Fingers (breaded chicken fillet served with fries,
coleslaw, and honey mustard dip)
Chicken Caesar Salad (salad served with grilled chicken on top
and bread)
Mocha Mud Pie (coffee and chocolate ice cream cake topped
with almonds and chocolate sauce)
Holiday Isle Fling (orange sherbet and vanilla ice cream slush)

Lahat ng kakaibang décor makikita mo dito sa Friday’s. Ultimo pandilig sa halaman nasa uluhan mo. American culture on display talaga, and you’ll really feel the theme. Not to mention ang mga kakaibang kasuotan ng staff nila. Kulang nalang magsabit sila ng lampara sa ibabaw ng ulo. May pa-kontest daw kasi ang management na “Most Unique In Uniform Embellishment (inimbento ko lang yang award na yan pero walang biro, may prize para sa kung sino ang may magandang disenyo ng uniform).” Try sitting at the bar and you’ll be served by the friendliest bartenders. Bawal ang pangit sa Friday’s, mind you. Halos lahat ng servers nila mga magaganda’t gwapo. Kaya dapat parati ka nakatawa dahil bawal ang masamang hilatsa ng mukha.


Spiral
The Westin Philippine Plaza, Manila

CUISINE TYPE : International
RESTAURANT HOURS : 12nn – 10pm, everyday
PRICE RANGE : $$$$
CROWD : Corporate bigshots, families
PARKING : Hotel parking. Have your parking ticket validated to pass up on
paying steep parking rates
PAYMENT MODES : Cash, Card
TRY THE FOLLOWING: Eat-all-you-can buffet

Nung unang beses kami kumain dito ng mga kaibigan ko, nagbihis talaga kami ng maganda. Buti nalang kasi lahat ng tao dun naka-postura. Nakakahiya pumila dun sa buffet nang naka-ismagol (havaianas yan ng mga chuchal).

Have your fare on the best-tasting cheeses of the world and pair them with your choice of bread at the cheese line. Mas masarap kung kakainin niyo to with your hands. Try the bleu, gruyere, and Boursin cheeses. Ikutin niyo ang buong dining floor dahil lahat ng klase ng luto andun, mula sa pagkaing pampajabar ng kilikili hanggang sa pampakiliti ng ngalangalang ice cream teppanyaki. Wag niyo kakalimutan hingin yung kasamang coffee or tea ng babayaran niyong buffet.

That’s My Pencil Cup Part 1 (Opinyon lang po mga kaibigan.)

It only takes three people to show their faces on Philippine television to tell you that the showbiz industry is going to the dogs.

Here are the top 3:

3. Vivica Raspa

There was something endearing about her when she first started her career in the music industry. The old story of the "probinsyana" making it big in the big city was a comic-tale come true for many and VR seemed to have stepped out of the comics pages herself. From being the "probinsyana" to having at least 10 movies on her resume, VR has really achieved a lot.

Siguro proud na proud si VR sa sarili niya. She reached success with her nose up high, a stomach tucked in and a chest stuck out…literally. Mula sa hair extensions, pagpapa-retoke ng ilong, hanggang sa pag-inom ng kung anu-anong gamot na may "-thion" sa pangalan ginawa niya. At sa tuwing lalabas siya sa mga shows niya, palaging nakaliyad ang suso ng hitad.

I also strongly feel na malandi siya, that she’s blissful with pleasure whenever she has to make movies with all these guys she had to play tonsil hockey with. Kung di ka ba naman malandi, lahat ng naging jowa mo either may asawa o may jowang iba. She can’t even act properly. Combine really tacky dialogue with her cheesy delivery and you got yourself a waste of money. Mabuti pang abangan mo nalang sa TV yung pelikula niya dahil maski pang-pirated DVD hindi sulit lalo na kung kasama niya sa pelikula si Robin Padilla.

Of course who would forget her latest love story? A guy married to a foreign beauty queen, the endless public displays of affection, naglalagkitang mga tingin, at ang walang humpay niyang pagwawagayway ng dibdib niya—malamang alam mo na kung sino to.

2. Astrud Kati

For someone who has prestigious schools in her transcripts, heroes for parents, and a seemingly intellectual brain, this person is extremely thick about life decisions.

Ma-in love ka daw ba sa lalaking kasing talino ng mga kuko sa paa!? May asawa’t anak, wala namang pera, bukod pa sa ron, di naman kayo magkaano-ano bubuntisin ka? How dumb can you be, falling in love with someone who doesn’t respect you one bit?

Her being head over heels with someone who brought her public mortification beyond anything else is hands down the most embarrassment one can get in her lifetime. Admitting on national television that you contacted a sexually transmitted disease from your partner is like wiping your ass with your bare hands without even a muddy puddle to wash it clean of poop.

If anybody remembers her brief relationship with this ugly so-called-actor whose the son of yet another actor-politician, buti nalang nagising siya sa katotohanan na he’s a far cry from being a good catch dahil maski itong so-called-actor na ito aminado na saging lang ang may puso.

Who would forget her current husband’s cheating on her? And her taking him back? I can’t believe anybody can be so obtuse in this day and age about a non-negotiable mistake such as cheating.

Di ko makalimutan nung nanganak siya. I accidentally switched channels and saw a feature about her "Pregnancy Diary." Andun lahat: mula sa pagkaka-admit niya hanggang sa pagkakasalin sa kanya ng dugo hanggang sa pagdalaw ng mga hindi mahahalagang tao binabanggit sa TV. And they said it was AK’s words herself in it verbatim. May tiga-sulat lang siya. I mean, who the hell cares? My God. Ateng, how self-absorbed are you?!

Her contestant-bashing and guest-humiliation on air during her shows is not considered clever wit. This shows what an uneducated sonofabitch she is. English lang kaya tunog matalino.

This only shows that stupidity cannot be learned and it’s definitely not genetic. And she’s a goddamn fine example.

1.Willie Revillame

I didn’t even bother using a code name for this ass. This guy is the worst of all hosts, living or dead.

San ka naman nakakakita ng host na kapag nagpapaliwanag ng game mechanics eh kinakain yung sinasabi niya? May P and F defect. Ang pagpronounce ng "Question" ay "Kuweyshun," "TFC (The Filipino Channel)" ay "Tsihepseeeh," Aba, eh natural parating mateteknikal yung kontestant! Ang labo kasing kausap nung host!

What’s the deal with all the screaming in his show? It is so unnecessary to raise your voice even if your show is a game/fun/exciting show. Ito kasing mga host ng Wowoweee wala namang dahilan sigawan ng sigawan. Like during the announcement of the grand winner for the first season of Pinoy Big Brother. "NENEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! YUUUU ARRRR DA BIG WINNERRRRR!!!!!" Tangina, parang parating mapuputukan ng litid sa leeg tong si Willie Revillame tuwing magsasalita siya mikropono.

Wow pare, anti-climactic.

No self-respecting adult would accept hosting jobs one cancelled show after the other. Makapal talaga mukha nitong taong to. After being banned for more than a year dahil sa kabastusan, makasuhan dahil sa stampede sa show nila, hiwalayan ng asawa dahil sa pambubugbog at makita ng buong mundo ang pangmamanyak sa mga dancers ng show, andyan parin si "Papi" (it’s what his loyal fans endearingly call him) at siguradong bukas ng tanghali mapapanood mo na naman siya sa TV.

Tapos inaway pa niya ang idol kong si Joey de Leon! Ang kapal ng mukha mo, Willie. Tama si Tito Joey, sa beerhouse ka nalang maghost!

Chaka HINDI SIYA NAKAKATAWA. Buti sana kung nakakatawa yung mukha niya kaso hindi eh. Bakit naman si Jose? Si Allan K? Si Diego? Si Micah? Si Bentong? Baka dapat manghiram si Willie ng mukha sa suwelas ng sapatos tapos wag na siya magsalita. Baka mapangisi niya ako ng kaunti. And did I mention that "Papi" meant "papable"???
Poo-TANG-ina.

I’m sure there are more incompetent, untalented, and ugly "actors/actresses." But for me, these three however, takes the cake.

Di naman ako perpekto. I don’t earn even two-thirds of what they get every payday. At least wala akong show. I just don’t understand how some people can have so little self-awareness.

Eff.

I say let them eat the cake

I've attended at least 10 weddings in my lifetime. More than half of the number i'm not in the wedding party. I don't really mind. Dressing up in a gown which four other ladies are also wearing isn't exactly a field day for me. I barely know how to put make-up on, let alone be photographed while fidgeting with a wedgie.

The fuss of being a guest and hating it aside, i really am a wedding person. I absolutely adore the concept of taking a couple's love to the next level (which is marriage and starting a family not the other "level" you're thinking of, you, pervert you!). I cry whenever i see the bride walking down the aisle and her groom smiling widely as he waits. Most of all, i love the food at the party after.

I already have an idea of what my own wedding's gonna be like. I also know who i want to marry (but i won't mention who he is coz i might jinx it). For the sake of hypothetical discussion, let me give you a rundown of some of the details:

1. First of all, i will definitely lose weight. I don't care if i don't eat. My goal is to be 110lbs on my big day.

Let's say i don't lose weight at all. Where does that leave me? Good thing i already know the perfect gown for me--plus-size or not.2. The motif will either be powder blue and black or turquoise and pink.

3. I would like to get married at the Edsa Shrine for the following reasons:

A.) I'm a member of the Lectors and Commentators Ministry there,
B.) It has guaranteed parking for the church guests,
C.) It's cheap (this means low ceremony rate-cheap). The last i heard the rate's P2,500.
D.) It's air conditioned,
E.) It has perfect audio system.

There are, however, some drawbacks:

A.) The church being a stone's throw away from the Galleria, the possibility of the ceremony losing its intimacy is pretty damn huge. Imagine people you've never seen before in your life gawking at you and you're dress, eventually launching into an indiscreet debate among themselves if you got knocked up or not.

B.) Unlike other churches, there's no balcony where your photographers and videographer can take bird's eye view shots of you walking down the aisle. Their creativity will really be put to the test here.

4. There will be none of the throwing of bouquet and garter. It's so fucking cheesy. Besides nobody wants to play those games anyway. Talk about public humiliation.

5. My groom and i will register. I will really bitch out if i open three boxes of the same plates during present time.

6. I want my husband and i to go backpacking in Europe for our honeymoon. This is my dream vacation (and my hypothetical wedding) so we'll go with whatever floats my boat.

7. I got a songlist down pat for the choir to sing.

8. I will definitely ask my friend Gina to host for my wedding. She would be perfect. She knows me and my groom very well and she's incredibly smart. It's a pity that couples hire people who are absolutely dead from the neck up. They say either useless information or too much information. And they have the gall to charge a couple of thousand pesos that once they open their mouths to "entertain" (duh!), you know that it's money down the drain for you.

Now that i've read what i wrote, i think it shouts out how desperate i am. Yeah, i'm excited...of the logistics probably. But the actual thing that comes with marriage? The package comes with something that when you think about it threatens to snatch you from your reverie and eat you alive, gown and all.

Oh and by the way, i want a hundred and fifty guests.

I played Mutie the Mailman in the production of Oklahoma!

It's been 2 and a half years since my last stage play. Of course, having no money and absolutely nothing to do that won't require my mother nagging me about my current state of bumhood, i just had to come back and do what i have always loved doing.

I'm back in theater, baby!

I was as small as a monggo bean when i started acting. I did a few minor stints in Batibot when i was 6, was casted in a stage play when i was 7, passed acting auditions and got kicked out of the play at 13 (they said i had to focus on my studies coz i was so busy with rehearsals and workshops), did class plays at 16, represented my block for monologue contests at 17, 18, 19 and 20 years old and finally became an apprentice for PETA.

However, PETA did not work well for me as i took MA units in theater at the UP while working. I never got a show for PETA because of all the studying and the work i had to do. Not acting rubbed off on my academic performance in school. I quit. Theater was my first love, and yet it broke my heart and my self-esteem.

My savior was Green Room Artists. They needed talents for some of their plays and Bong of PETA brought us to Direk Roni Bertubin for casting. I was casted for the role of Penchang in El Filibusterismo and the rest is history.

I've been with the company for 6 years. I had a three year hiatus, yes, but i never really left. My heart ached to act in those three years but i had to work to make a living. Theater was great but it doesn't necessarily pay the bills. I believe that theater is something you do "at the side" because you love doing it, but you don't make a career out of it...unless you're Lea Salonga or some pain-in-the-ass big shot Broadway star.

I have a rehearsal later. This is what i like about theater. My problems fade away once i step onto the stage and for 3-4 hours, i'm myself without the shitty bullcrap i face everyday. It's an escape. And i get paid for escaping reality.

My life is at a crossroads now. I have plans for my life that won't guarantee me of a better and more contented life but i guess there's no harm in trying. Theater would help me reach my goal. What you are now shapes your destiny. I don't know if that's a real saying but it sure sounds good. And it makes sense. Shit. I hate this feeling. It sucks.