That’s My Pencil Cup Part 1 (Opinyon lang po mga kaibigan.)

It only takes three people to show their faces on Philippine television to tell you that the showbiz industry is going to the dogs.

Here are the top 3:

3. Vivica Raspa

There was something endearing about her when she first started her career in the music industry. The old story of the "probinsyana" making it big in the big city was a comic-tale come true for many and VR seemed to have stepped out of the comics pages herself. From being the "probinsyana" to having at least 10 movies on her resume, VR has really achieved a lot.

Siguro proud na proud si VR sa sarili niya. She reached success with her nose up high, a stomach tucked in and a chest stuck out…literally. Mula sa hair extensions, pagpapa-retoke ng ilong, hanggang sa pag-inom ng kung anu-anong gamot na may "-thion" sa pangalan ginawa niya. At sa tuwing lalabas siya sa mga shows niya, palaging nakaliyad ang suso ng hitad.

I also strongly feel na malandi siya, that she’s blissful with pleasure whenever she has to make movies with all these guys she had to play tonsil hockey with. Kung di ka ba naman malandi, lahat ng naging jowa mo either may asawa o may jowang iba. She can’t even act properly. Combine really tacky dialogue with her cheesy delivery and you got yourself a waste of money. Mabuti pang abangan mo nalang sa TV yung pelikula niya dahil maski pang-pirated DVD hindi sulit lalo na kung kasama niya sa pelikula si Robin Padilla.

Of course who would forget her latest love story? A guy married to a foreign beauty queen, the endless public displays of affection, naglalagkitang mga tingin, at ang walang humpay niyang pagwawagayway ng dibdib niya—malamang alam mo na kung sino to.

2. Astrud Kati

For someone who has prestigious schools in her transcripts, heroes for parents, and a seemingly intellectual brain, this person is extremely thick about life decisions.

Ma-in love ka daw ba sa lalaking kasing talino ng mga kuko sa paa!? May asawa’t anak, wala namang pera, bukod pa sa ron, di naman kayo magkaano-ano bubuntisin ka? How dumb can you be, falling in love with someone who doesn’t respect you one bit?

Her being head over heels with someone who brought her public mortification beyond anything else is hands down the most embarrassment one can get in her lifetime. Admitting on national television that you contacted a sexually transmitted disease from your partner is like wiping your ass with your bare hands without even a muddy puddle to wash it clean of poop.

If anybody remembers her brief relationship with this ugly so-called-actor whose the son of yet another actor-politician, buti nalang nagising siya sa katotohanan na he’s a far cry from being a good catch dahil maski itong so-called-actor na ito aminado na saging lang ang may puso.

Who would forget her current husband’s cheating on her? And her taking him back? I can’t believe anybody can be so obtuse in this day and age about a non-negotiable mistake such as cheating.

Di ko makalimutan nung nanganak siya. I accidentally switched channels and saw a feature about her "Pregnancy Diary." Andun lahat: mula sa pagkaka-admit niya hanggang sa pagkakasalin sa kanya ng dugo hanggang sa pagdalaw ng mga hindi mahahalagang tao binabanggit sa TV. And they said it was AK’s words herself in it verbatim. May tiga-sulat lang siya. I mean, who the hell cares? My God. Ateng, how self-absorbed are you?!

Her contestant-bashing and guest-humiliation on air during her shows is not considered clever wit. This shows what an uneducated sonofabitch she is. English lang kaya tunog matalino.

This only shows that stupidity cannot be learned and it’s definitely not genetic. And she’s a goddamn fine example.

1.Willie Revillame

I didn’t even bother using a code name for this ass. This guy is the worst of all hosts, living or dead.

San ka naman nakakakita ng host na kapag nagpapaliwanag ng game mechanics eh kinakain yung sinasabi niya? May P and F defect. Ang pagpronounce ng "Question" ay "Kuweyshun," "TFC (The Filipino Channel)" ay "Tsihepseeeh," Aba, eh natural parating mateteknikal yung kontestant! Ang labo kasing kausap nung host!

What’s the deal with all the screaming in his show? It is so unnecessary to raise your voice even if your show is a game/fun/exciting show. Ito kasing mga host ng Wowoweee wala namang dahilan sigawan ng sigawan. Like during the announcement of the grand winner for the first season of Pinoy Big Brother. "NENEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! YUUUU ARRRR DA BIG WINNERRRRR!!!!!" Tangina, parang parating mapuputukan ng litid sa leeg tong si Willie Revillame tuwing magsasalita siya mikropono.

Wow pare, anti-climactic.

No self-respecting adult would accept hosting jobs one cancelled show after the other. Makapal talaga mukha nitong taong to. After being banned for more than a year dahil sa kabastusan, makasuhan dahil sa stampede sa show nila, hiwalayan ng asawa dahil sa pambubugbog at makita ng buong mundo ang pangmamanyak sa mga dancers ng show, andyan parin si "Papi" (it’s what his loyal fans endearingly call him) at siguradong bukas ng tanghali mapapanood mo na naman siya sa TV.

Tapos inaway pa niya ang idol kong si Joey de Leon! Ang kapal ng mukha mo, Willie. Tama si Tito Joey, sa beerhouse ka nalang maghost!

Chaka HINDI SIYA NAKAKATAWA. Buti sana kung nakakatawa yung mukha niya kaso hindi eh. Bakit naman si Jose? Si Allan K? Si Diego? Si Micah? Si Bentong? Baka dapat manghiram si Willie ng mukha sa suwelas ng sapatos tapos wag na siya magsalita. Baka mapangisi niya ako ng kaunti. And did I mention that "Papi" meant "papable"???
Poo-TANG-ina.

I’m sure there are more incompetent, untalented, and ugly "actors/actresses." But for me, these three however, takes the cake.

Di naman ako perpekto. I don’t earn even two-thirds of what they get every payday. At least wala akong show. I just don’t understand how some people can have so little self-awareness.

Eff.